The Absent Father


You had an absent father if you answer any of this questions with yes:

  • Did your father abandon you when you were a child?
  • Have you never had contact with your father, or only for a very short time?
  • Did your father die when you were a child or an adolescent?
  • Has your father been sometimes in your life but absent for long periods of time?
  • Was your father physically present but emotionally unavailable or rejecting you?

Fathers can be absent in the lives of their daughters and sons in many ways, and all of them hurt. There are dire statistics about the effect of a missing father in the family (poverty, substance abuse, lack of education), but even if they don’t apply, you might experience one or more of the following symptons in your adult life:

– A big hole in your heart
– An emotional emptiness that never seems to go away
– Low self-esteem, feeling worthless
– Feeling unsafe and anxious
– Abandonment and anger issues
– Unsure about being a man (a woman)

The Absent Father Impact

Sadly, having a physically absent or emotionally missing father has become somewhat common in our society. Besides the tragic untimely death of a father, there are many other reasons why fathers are unavailable to their children: Abandonment of the pregnant mother, divorce or separation, out-of-wedlock births, incarceration, work-related long absences, personal problems like drugs, alcohol, or mental illness, and abuse.

The effect of an absent father in the family has been well researched, and the statistics are of stunning significance:

– More likely to grow up in poverty
– Higher infant mortality
– Higher odds (men and women) of incarceration
– Boys at a higher risk of aggression and delinquency
– Girls with a higher probability of risky sexual behaviour
– Higher risk of eating disorders, drug and alkohol abuse
– Higher risk of dropping out of school
– More likely to be neglected or abused
– More likely to suffer from psychological disorders

A missing father cannot teach his son how to master his fearful and aggressive emotions, and he cannot give his daughter the experience of being precious and strong.

As a grown-up, you can feel the impact of your fatherless childhood – or abandonment and rejection by your father-  in many ways. You might have dysfunctional relationships, problems with your own children, or lack of professional success.

Is this you?

- You live with a big hole in your heart, an emptiness that can never be filled
- You feel sad when you see loving interactions of fathers with their children
- You are angry at the world “for no good reason”
- You are unsure about what it means to be a man (a woman)
- You feel unsafe, anxious, and always on the edge
- You fear abandonment and rejection in relationships
- You have low self-esteem and often feel worthless
- You believe that there is something wrong with you
- You always look for approval
- You need to be perfect and successful at all cost – or you quit too soon
- You always struggle and try too hard
- As a man you are emotionally dependant on women- and resent them for it
- As a woman you either distrust men deeply or you idealize them
– You feel invisible or not heard
– You have conflicting feelings towards God 

If you are a grown-up woman or man and still experience the deep hurt of abandonment or rejection by your absent childhood father, or his untimely death, I can help you feel better about yourself.

As a certified EFTpractitioner I work with painful emotions and memories. This Energy Work method is  fast, easy to apply even on the phone, and the effects are often remarkable.

For a free consultation call
(520) 232-3304 in Tucson, Arizona
or e-mail


What my clients say

Carna’s expertise with issues that affect motherless daughters transferred very well to my particular issues surrounding growing up without a father.  Within two sessions carried over the telephone, Carna helped me to identify all the unresolved pain and anguish, and then effectively reduced the negative impact.

So now when I think of my father he doesn’t seem any less a part of me or my life, as he will always be my biological relative, but I now feel at peace with the fact that he wasn’t involved in my upbringing.  There is no anger left – how ever hard I try and test it, it is gone!  Thank you, Carna.
Sarah Holland, England

I grew up in a family where my mother was abusive and I had an absentee father. Most of my life I had no idea why I kept repeating the same patterns of failure in my jobs and in my relationships, thinking the world was out to get me.  I played the victim role over and over, until finally someone pointed out to me that “I” was the one with the problem.

I was “shocked” into seeking some help.  At that time I entered traditional talk therapy. That process was long, tedious and ineffective. After years of that, I began to look for new ways to heal faster and feel better.

I found EFT and I found Carna. I felt that she was speaking directly to me through her website. Her words struck my heart deeply and I knew she could help me. I worked with her on a variety of issues and she was amazing! She is extremely skilled and knowledgeable and she gently and easily guided me to making fast, deep and permanent changes.

I felt better and better after every session. I absolutely loved working with her. She is caring and compassionate with the skill and ease of an expert.  She is masterful in her work, making me feel comfortable and safe. She has been a tremendous blessing and help to me in my life. Thank goodness I found Carna as my life is positively different now.  My job and relationships have taken a 180 degree turn for the positive. Thank you so much Carna!

 V. in Cincinnati





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