Missing Mother

Releasing the Pain of Childhood Abandonment, Neglect, and Rejection

Anger! Six Ways to deal With It Effectively


Most of us get angry once in a while – and then we feel guilty, especially if we are female. Here are some ways to handle it.

I once asked a very quiet, timid "Missing Mother" client: "Do you ever get angry?" And she said: "No". "Never ever?" "No, never."

Well, this is for the rest of us. You blow up, your heart races, your muscles tensen, and you probably say things you are not particularly proud of.  Now what?

1. Take a deep breath. Accept it. It happened. Allow yourself to express one of the most common human emotions. Forgive yourself for being human.

2. Tap on it (do EFT). Be very specific! Just tapping on being angry at Bill or Nancy is not enough – tell the story, name what exactly about this person makes you angry. EFT is very effective when it comes to releasing anger.

3. Dig deeper. Often, anger is a cover-up for a more uncomfortable feeling. Usually it is either fear or emotional pain. Find out what the fear or pain is about and work on that. This takes courage, so give yourself credit for that.

4. Do not promise that it will never happen again. It most likely will. If you are frequently angry, the first goal is to decrease the outbursts.

5. Work on transforming frothing-at-the-mouth anger into being assertive  and standing up for yourself. Some people need to get angry first in order to achieve that. Especially when you had childhood trauma, like growing up with a missing mother or an absent father you need to work on getting your emotions balanced.

6. Find something to laugh about. Anger and laughter don't mix!