Missing Mother

Releasing the Pain of Childhood Abandonment, Neglect, and Rejection

Creative Imagination Helps Abused Woman


A woman hates herself for wanting to go back to her abusive ex-husband. While traditional EFT is helpful, it is creative imagination combined with EFT that achieves the breakthrough.

Robin (not her real name) had been with her physically abusive husband for many years. They are divorced now, but Robin is tortured by the intense need to go back to him. He seems to be a changed man now, and she could finally have the marriage of her dreams. Since she is a smart, educated woman, she knows that this is an illusion, and she hates herself for this "disgusting" longing.

We had done several traditional EFT sessions on this issue, and it all helped somewhat. However, it was creative imagination that lead to the breakthrough.

This time, I asked her for an image for this longing, "disgusting" part of her that wanted her former abuser back.

She immediately came up with a strong visual: A vomiting, sick, ugly woman with leprosy. She tried to hide her boils and scabs, but "the secret was out". Other people did not want to be close to her. Nobody could help her anyway. We named this woman "Damaged Mary". Then we started tapping.

"I don't want anything to do with this; I got to get away from her. If I hang out with her, I soak it up, and I get sick, too. I don't know how to help her anyway, and I feel completely helpless."

I reminded Robin that leprosy is actually not a highly contagious disease, and that made her feel better instantly. But she still felt helpless and didn't know what to do to release this woman's suffering.

So I stepped in and made an offer: Could you imagine somebody coming into this scene who has the knowledge and the power to help Damaged Mary?

Robin liked the idea, and she brought in a Native American Spirit Guide. He started to pound his staff on the ground, and the upcoming sparks touched all of the sick parts of Mary's body, making the boils and scabs go away, healing her.

After that, Mary was no longer damaged and looked so much better; she just had some scars on her arms. I suggested that scars were o.k., since nobody goes through life without scars. Robin agreed and hugged Mary. The Spirit Guide now danced around both of them, and then Robin took Mary's hand and told her that she wanted to buy her dinner.

What an experience! We tapped on some residual feelings until the whole issue dropped to a 0. Robin was feeling great after the session. And this is what she e-mailed me several days later:

"This week's session was outstanding. I have had a couple of thoughts about getting back with him, kind of out of habit, then I remind myself of what I have studied with you and let it go."

©2010 Carna Zacharias-Miller