Missing Mother

Releasing the Pain of Childhood Abandonment, Neglect, and Rejection

“Ugly Duckling” Book

Image of opened magic book with magic lights
“The Way of the Ugly Duckling”
explores how childhood pain can be transformed and leads to the expansion of consciousness.

Why working with a fairy tale? From the psychological and spiritual perspective, the original European fairy tales and myths are road maps for the soul’s journey towards higher awareness, divine love, and truth.

“The Ugly Duckling”, is not about finding romantic love with another, it is about finding the highest value, your True Self, your Soul, in yourself. You are the soulmate you are looking for. Recognizing who you really are and, for the first time in your life, loving and accepting yourself. Then, and only then, you can love others and find the beings you belong to and feel at home.

The Way Of The Ugly Duckling

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Click on the cover picture to buy at amazon. for just $2.99. You do not need a Kindle device to read.

“Zacharias-Miller nails it with this completely accessible yet deeply effective expose on the archetypal journey of self-investigation. Her writing is clear and direct and the simplicity with which she presents what can sometimes be a complex idea makes this book a perfect tool for personal self-investigation for an individual on their own path of discovery, or a reminder for the professional to help incorporate elements of Depth Psychology to working with others. With a good balance of theory and example, this book should be on every person’s shelf who is committed to a life of increased self-awareness and personal growth.”

Dr. Michael Lennox, Psychologist, Astrologer, Dream Expert

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Why Fairy Tales?

Aren’t fairy tales for children? Yes, they can be, but originally they are not at all. Looking at them from a spiritual perspective, they open up a delightful, while deeply meaningful path of personal evolution.

I have been fascinated by fairy tales all my life. Although I could not put it into words at that time, I always felt on a deep, emotional level: All these abandoned, mistreated, or spellbound heroines and heroes, they are like me! And they do finally find their real homes and are happy, don’t they. So there is hope…

As an energy work practitioner (EFT), I am intrigued by the use of original fairy tales as a source of emotional healing and spiritual growth.

We all have different life stories, but the underlying patterns, conflicts, challenges, emotions, and visions are universal. Universal like the original fairy tale population. The child, the princess, the prince, the wise woman or witch, the magician, the smart and powerful animals, the sun, and the moon, and the stars. These archetypes of the collective unconscious as Carl Jung called them, speak to us with powerful voices, across time and space.

Right at the beginning of a traditional tale, the heroines or heroes are in big trouble: They are, for example, kicked out of the house by their parents, fall victim to an evil stepmother or a terrifying non-human entity, are bullied for being different, find themselves in acute danger, or they have to solve a problem nobody can solve. In other words, they are isolated from the protective tribe everybody else seems to belong to. In fact, isolation is the most obvious characteristic of any fairy tale or mythic heroine or hero.

However, they all succeed in getting the job done, or they are acknowledged for who they really are, and then they live happily ever after, right?

How come? How do they manage that? And why do other people (like their brothers and sisters) miserably fail trying? What makes them so special?

A Spiritual Journey

I always have been intrigued by that. It is a pesky problem for the rest of us who are stuck in the dark woods, keep being spellbound by an evil witch, or can’t get away from being bullied by a bunch of stupid ducks.

Since there is evidence that in the “real” world the simpleton with the good heart usually does not get rewarded, and many monsters continue to live happily in their castles, we have to ask ourselves: What world are we talking about when it comes to fairy tales and myths?

And so we discover that it all only makes sense when we perceive fairy tales on a metaphorical level, when we understand them as road maps on our emotional healing and spiritual journey. If we do that, everything falls into place and makes perfect sense. From the psychological and spiritual perspective, fairy tales and myths are about the universal human journey per aspera ad astra, to the stars through hardship. They are blueprints for the soul’s journey towards higher awareness, divine love, and truth.

Can there be a higher purpose for any spoken or written expression?

Expansion of Consciousness

So why have our fairy tale heroines and heroes been singled out, ripped out of the comfort of a loving and protective family and community? Why have they been thrown into the dark and scary woods, ridiculed and shamed; why do they have to tend to pigs for seven years, or kneel in the ashes in the kitchen while everybody else is having loads of fun?

The answer to this can only be given in a spiritual context: From the perspective of your eternal soul, there is only one thing that counts: consciousness – the expansion of consciousness.

We can grow spiritually in many ways, and not all of them are painful. However, being kicked out of our comfort zone is a time tested tool of emotional evolution since it really gets the job done, sooner or later.

Thus, from a spiritual standpoint, our fairy tale heroines and heroes must be uprooted, separated from the tribe, set apart, made very uncomfortable, because they need to get going, they need to move, they need to find their true home, their spiritual home.

“Home” is more a state of mind than a physical environment., and we have to keep moving to find our true home which is ultimately not of this world.

Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, or Sleeping Beauty are not individual, specific beings like the characters in a novel. They are archetypes, condensed, universal patterns of consciousness in (barely) three dimensional form. All the people, plants, spirits, or animals our heroine/hero encounter on their journeys are put in their way, so they can learn and grow. The school of Jungian fairy tale interpretation goes a step further: All the other characters in the tale are inner aspects of the heroine/hero that have to be dealt with.

The point of the whole journey is to reach at-one-ment, to be at one with all that is, to find the right place in the cosmic order. To achieve that, the fairy tale heroes have to be isolated from the tribal thinking, and their hearts have to be tested. In many tales, there are brothers and (step)sisters who want to gain the riches too, but they never get there because there consciousness is not developed enough to love all there is and step beyond their greedy, ego-centered wishes.

They Are Heart-Centered

Again, what makes our winners so special? Fairy tale heroines and heroes who get it all at the end, usually have certain characteristics in common: humility, kindness, compassion, courage, honesty, trust, non-violence, endurance, and patience, Or to put it all together: They are heart – centered. Other than that, they are not “special” in any way. They are not smarter, stronger, or more competitive – quite in the contrary. They often are the “stupid” one in the family. Even if they happen to be a prince or a princess, they want something more essential from life than privilege and luxury.

There is one feature that gives the ones with a pure heart an invaluable advantage: They attract helpers and gifts wherever they go. From fairies, dwarves, birds and trees to relatives on the other side, crystals and planets – it seems that the whole universe conspires to make it happen for somebody on a spiritual journey. Because of their special characteristics, the fairy tale heroines/heroes live in a state of grace that connects them effortlessly with everyone and everything at the right moment.

And that is true magic.