Missing Mother

Releasing the Pain of Childhood Abandonment, Neglect, and Rejection

Testimonials from “Missing Mother” Clients

Due to the sensitive nature of this work, I offer my clients anonymity.
I vouch for the authenticity of each testimonial.

Dark, painful crisis

“I was experiencing one of the darkest, most painful crises in my life when I came across Carna’s Missing Mothers website. I had read many psychology and self-help books, and I knew that I had deep, searing pain in my soul. This pain had always been there. Even the forward progress in my adult life had not extinguished my insecurity and emotional instability. Until reading Carna’s words, never had I been told that such deep hurts and scars could be the result of my mother’s emotional absence.

My mother is a very strong-willed woman, and I am one of her six children. All of my siblings struggle with depression and insecurity, and we have all recognized my mother’s anger, critical spirit, and inability to love her children. Yet it was a revelation to consider that some of the strained and failed relationships in  my life might be directly linked to my unmet need for a mother to love me. Such unmet need can set off a chain reaction of misunderstanding and rejection.

Carna’s work has contributed greatly to my life and well-being. The techniques really do work. My inflamed psyche and bruised soul have experienced much soothing relief from fear. I have learned a new, effective way of calming my distress, accepting myself and others, even discovering contentment in just being me.

There are many mysteries about human beings and healing. Carna’s mission is devoted to women who have experienced the raw pain of not being loved into life. Her work is a work of healing. She has helped me deal with the source of my pain and has taught me how to calm my emotions and body when this pain flares. I have received a new experience of healing and wholeness. I am even now hoping for ways to show my mother acceptance.
If you identify with my background, I encourage you to take a new step toward healing.

May you exchange your mourning for dancing.”

“Anne Marie” in Alabama

Creating inner peace

“I’ve suffered emotionally and physically all my life and desperately sought after someone or something that could help me heal, forgive, and create peace within myself.

When I was introduced to EFT, I immediately searched for someone who could help me with my issues relating to my mother.

I found Carna’s site and knew right away that she would be the person who could help me get right to the core issues and resolve them much quicker than trying to do it myself. I was right!

I had a total of 5 sessions with Carna. After each session I felt the pain release. Especially after the second session, I felt a sense of peace within myself that I’ve never felt before. Within 2 days I noticed that I wasn’t emotionally eating. I all of a sudden felt more energy, started sleeping better, and had visions of success with my home business.

Carna helped me create affirmations to tap to daily to resolve issues with my self confidence, and to create success with my business.

Carna has been a blessing to me and I highly recommend her to everyone.”

Dawn, Michigan

Old trauma, negative beliefs

“Of the many therapists I considered working with, I chose to work with Carna because she has been through childhood abuse. Her list of long-time effects of abuse in her Missing Mother information described perfectly deeply ingrained struggles I experienced, some of them I hadn’t even been able to identify until reading her descriptions.

I had been working to expiate the old traumas and negative beliefs for many years through talk therapy, and while that has been helpful, I never was completely relieved of the effects.

Now that it has been about a month or so since Carna worked with me, the difference in how I feel amazes me. It is hard to explain, but certain continual currents of fear and self-hatred seem to be gone. I find it quite amazing. Being released from the horrible knots of energy that expressed themselves continuously in varied ways is indescribable. Seeking out EFT work was kind of a last resort. I couldn’t have imagined how well it would work, but I can liken the before-and-after to how I felt long ago when I began anti-depressant medication: once it started having an effect, I realized due to the contrast just how bad things had been before.

Carna was an ideal person for me to work with–there were quite a few sessions that were very powerful and intense. This process brought up these old, frozen feelings and disentangled them in a way that no other previous work has. Carna led me through the EFT process skillfully, and was not thrown off track by my very intense reactions. She often captured the crux of my pain perfectly in her tapping phrases.

We worked very well together, I became absolutely comfortable with her, and I also appreciate very much the time she spent after each session, kind of “debriefing” with me, and doing a calming visualization. She is very professional, very capable, very knowledgeable, and very real and compassionate.

I am so grateful, honestly. I tried my best to put the experience into words, but I don’t think there is really a way to express what a miracle this was for me.”

Cindy in New York

Much more joyful

“I am feeling better and better for the most part. I use the tapping often and your instruction has been priceless in choosing to-the-point affirmative statements.There have been multiple moments where the technique has meant the difference between a downward spiral of emotions and a complete transformation of my state into serenity and joy!!! I also found your online articles very helpful for accepting and strategically approaching many of my behavioral patterns that I found very Dis-satisfactory. But to be more precise- I now feel much more joyful (my emotional state has averaged at level 7-8 (with 10 being completely at peace), I am sleeping on a level 7 out of 10, and my appetite has returned with a fury!
Thank you for all of your coaching and concern!”

Maria in New York

Emotionally absent mother

“Dear Carna,

I just wanted to write and tell you how very, very much I appreciated our session together.Until recently, I could not even admit to myself that my mother was not present for us. I tried so very hard throughout my life to please her and, of course, no matter what anyone ever does it is never, ever enough; or the right thing. And, of course, my mother has no idea that her actions have had any negative impact on anyone.

I did not even realize how these buried feelings were running and ruining my life. I just thought I was stupid and inefficient and insufficient in every way. These feelings creep into all areas of my life – not just my relationship with my mother.

And, in the past, if anyone ever even hinted that there may be issues with my mother I would immediately jump to her defense and tell them how wrong they were, and how she was a strong and capable woman, smarter than all of womanhood put together, etc. And, that is truly what I thought. Truly! I wonder now how we can blind ourselves so thoroughly. It is just SO HARD TO ADMIT that we were not loved. No matter what the reason, somewhere down in there I could NOT admit there was anything wrong with my mother or her actions because that would mean I really was not loved or wanted. I could not confirm my deepest inner fear.

I don’t know that I have it ALL out of my system yet, but I can tell you for sure that I have felt a freedom and a flow of energy through my being and my life that I have never experienced before. I can think more clearly. I have been able to move through my day more smoothly – decreased procrastination. I feel more a part of my community. The energy is very subtle. I am usually quite a loner. Recently I’ve heard from some ladies I recently took a class with and have actually made arrangements to meet with them. I firmly believe they contacted me because I am now more available on an energetic level. Before the session, they would not have felt comfortable contacting me because I am normally closed down and closed off to “others.”

Also, I don’t know if you remember or not, but I had a meeting with my inner child at the end of our session. This precious being I have never encountered before in all my life. She is the most precious little girl I have ever met and I talk with her each and every day – many, many times throughout the day. She knows she is loved and cared for and she is ecstatic. She feels happy and capable and ready for life each moment. I listen to her and feel so nurtured when I support her.

I so applaud you for doing the work and assisting all of us in this situation a way out. And a simple and painless way as well. May you be blessed in every way that you need and may you continue to be able to share this precious resource. Many blessings.”

B.E. in Tennessee

Profound change

“Hi Carna,

I just wanted to give you a quick update… there is a profound change in how I am coping with people. One big example came into my life and I keep being surprised at what usually is complete devastation is now sadness for what cannot be. But I am so much more at peace on a specific aspect. I decided to continue our work. There are still aspects of loneliness, and shame that come up. I continue to tap but the results just aren’t the same as I have seen working with you. Not even close. Just wanted to let you know that your work made a big difference.”

Rebecca in New York

Tremendous difference

“Thank you, Carna, for everything you have done. I look back to where I was when we first started, and where I am now. What a tremendous difference in such a short time!”

“Rachel”, San Diego


“Thank you for the empowering session yesterday. I really like how you can zero in on issues. You do have a gift for it.”,

Judy Davidson, Toronto, Canada

Knowing what I was feeling

“I could really feel a difference after the tapping.Thank you for understanding and knowing what I was feeling even when I couldn’t put it into words.”

Vicki in Virginia

More honest

“Dear Carna, Please accept my thanks for the EFT sessions I recently had with you. Our work has helped me be more accepting of my negative feelings about my mother. I find myself more honest and accepting of feelings of all kinds and I feel that this will continue over time.Thank you so much for your kindness and patience in helping me acknowledge and accept my feelings.”

“Sally J.” Tallahassee, FL

My mother broke my heart

”When I first found your website, I knew I had finally landed. Your description of a Motherless Daughter fit me perfectly, and my mother is alive! I am so glad I began working with you by phone. Since we began two months ago I have noticed changes; some subtle, some overt; all of them profound. I am more relaxed around my children. I can feel happy for a friend when she gets something nice. I am kinder to myself. I feel lighter. I have stopped bingeing. I can handle a five minute phone conversation with my mother without falling apart. I notice myself feeling more content.You have decreased the pain caused by my mother’s cruelty and depression. You validated my feelings and helped me see I’m not as selfish as she told me I was. I realize this will be a lifelong journey, but I am more hopeful about my happiness than I have ever been. Carna, my mother did break my heart. But you have helped me heal it. I will forever be grateful.”

Judith Hill, Maine

Miraculous technique

“I thought you’d be very interested to know that my mother called again today, and when I called her back, we wound up having a very deep conversation about things, and I think we may’ve had a breakthrough (or at least a beginning). I’m still quite nervous about this, as I have some distrust, but I felt it was worth a try. I was somewhat immobilized after we hung up (that’s what sometimes happens to me if I’m too emotionally upset). Anyway, I did what you suggested and tapped immediately for “pain, fear, and lack of confidence in myself”. It seemed to work well.

I have known about EFT for a number of years, but for some reason just didn’t use it. Now that I’ve had 3 intensive sessions with Carna, I’m truly amazed at how thoughts of my mother (and other peripheral family issues) no longer cause me to become emotionally (and physically) immobilized. The thoughts can still pop in, but the debilitating emotions that used to accompany them are no longer there. I feel like a new person, a prisoner let go. The technique is really miraculous, and Carna’s specialty a Godsend.”

“Miriam” in California

Soul wound

“Thank you for the kindness and compassion you showed me during our sessions. Suffering such persistent pain as happens with a soul wound of this kind, made me end up feeling so very lonely, and that there was something fundamentally “wrong” because the pain just wouldn’t get better. This only fed the downward spiral of the syndrome. My mother is gone now, 4 years. She died at age 83. She was a narcissistic borderline and she nearly annihilated my sense of Self. But not enough to prevent me from seeking help! I am so grateful you have identified this affliction, The Motherless Daughter Syndrome. I fit every characteristic. I still have a road to travel to recovery, but the validation I received from you in our sessions has started the healing. It has shown up as finding the strength to start saying “NO!” to the unfair judgement and one-sided demands of my grown children and my husband. Thank you. I look forward to more work with you.”

Carolyn Blake, Minnesota

Like magic

“I have recently been in Carna’s “Heal Your Heart” program using EFT, and it has been a remarkable experience. Even though I had a mother physically for the first 10 yrs of my life, she wasn’t able to be there emotionally for me. I have been thru counseling trying to understand and heal my depression, anger, fear, etc. and nothing worked as well and as miraculously as the EFT tapping. It’s like magic. Somehow I have been able to uncover the Real Me. The obstructions I have had about feeling worthy, being happy, are magically disappearing. I still have feelings about what happened to me , but they don’t keep me trapped and reactionary , instead I feel like I’ve been liberated from an old prison. Now I know what it’s really like to have free will and not be feeling guilty about any decision I make.”

Jean Robinson, Tucson, AZ

 Everything is allright

“The session with you really helped me – thank you! It was good to hear that I already was healed. Even though I knew that the encounter with my dying mother was extremely important, I was confused by my exhaustion, anxiety, and tension. Now I know that everything is allight, and that my body is in the process of healing.” “

Susanna“, Bern, Switzerland

Amazing sessions

“So far, I had not yet been working with someone via Internet, but I found it very practicable and easy. I have to say that I was no EFT-beginner. When I found Carna, I had already been working with EFT on my own for over a year. But it was only during the work with her that I began to explore the depths of the treatment and the possibilities that it offers. I also began to realize very quickly how different the work with a practitioner is. On my own, I would never have got there, I am quite sure, even if EFT had a place in my daily routine. I found the sessions amazing and was often stunned by the fanciful ways Carna took to help me with my problem. In very short time, I could let go feelings I had nourished (and cherished I am afraid) for 48 years.

For example, I had been afflicted all my life by the fact that nobody bothered to take a photograph of me when I was a baby, whereas all my four siblings have a baby-photo. Carnas idea was great: she made me invent a photo, put a frame around it and send it into the universe (this was the more difficult part). Thats it. I no longer feel pain when I think of the missing baby photo, because I have it now and I can never lose ist.

We also worked on the feeling of resentment I had against my mother, all my life, for being unwanted and not being loved enough. Carna helped me to let go of this feeling just in one session. It has never returned, I am glad about this. Glad also, because I no longer have expectations regarding my mother. I am the one who is responsible for me, my inner child and his siblings. This feels very good!

The work with Carna accelerated my project of becoming an EFT-practioner myself a lot, now I am dying to start :-)) Thank you very much for everything, Carna!”

Monika from Germany

I am the person I want to be

For over two years I would not leave my house. Asthma and panic attacks had taken over my life. I was diagnosed with a condition called “Multiple Chemical Sensitivity” that made me a paranoid mess. I no longer could function as a mother, wife, or even a person. . It’s not that I didn’t try to get better. I went to no less than 20 different doctors begging for a cure. I received precription after prescription  yet I was still getting worse!

Then I was very lucky to find Carna and EFT. I had no idea  that all the dysfunction , abuse and chronic stress I had accumulated in my life manifested in these conditions.  I had no idea that the pain of a childhood  with a bipolar mother, being tossed from foster home to foster home and being abused had left such scars that I was triggered by almost everything!

Carna worked very hard to help me. Like an onion, she pulled layer after layer of trauma away, helping me to understand and relieve all the pain I didn’t even know I had built up inside me. As the pain left, my symptons started to get better. Soon I was doing things again – like going to the food store and taking my kids to dance and sports. I was able to fill those holes of fear and trauma with happiness and gratitude. Today I go wherever I want. I am the mother, wife and person I want to be. Everyday is a giftm, and I am so grateful to Carna and EFT for not only giving me my life back , but giving me a much better life. Carna is an amazing, gifted and caring woman who I care for deeply.

Pam in New Jersey