ARE YOU HURTING FROM AN ABSENT CHILDHOOD FATHER?
You had an absent father if you answer any of this questions with yes:
- Did your father abandon you when you were a child?
- Have you never had contact with your father, or only for a very short time?
- Did your father die when you were a child or an adolescent?
- Has your father been sometimes in your life but absent for long periods of time?
- Was your father physically present but emotionally unavailable or rejecting you?
Fathers can be absent in the lives of their daughters and sons in many ways, and all of them hurt. There are dire statistics about the effect of a missing father in the family (poverty, substance abuse, lack of education), but even if they don’t apply, you might experience one or more of the following symptons in your adult life:
– A big hole in your heart
– An emotional emptiness that never seems to go away
– Low self-esteem, feeling worthless
– Feeling unsafe and anxious
– Abandonment and anger issues
– Unsure about being a man (a woman)
The Absent Father Impact
Sadly, having a physically absent or emotionally missing father has become somewhat common in our society. Besides the tragic untimely death of a father, there are many other reasons why fathers are unavailable to their children: Abandonment of the pregnant mother, divorce or separation, out-of-wedlock births, incarceration, work-related long absences, personal problems like drugs, alcohol, or mental illness, and abuse.
The effect of an absent father in the family has been well researched, and the statistics are of stunning significance:
– More likely to grow up in poverty
– Higher infant mortality
– Higher odds (men and women) of incarceration
– Boys at a higher risk of aggression and delinquency
– Girls with a higher probability of risky sexual behaviour
– Higher risk of eating disorders, drug and alkohol abuse
– Higher risk of dropping out of school
– More likely to be neglected or abused
– More likely to suffer from psychological disorders
A missing father cannot teach his son how to master his fearful and aggressive emotions, and he cannot give his daughter the experience of being precious and strong.
As a grown-up, you can feel the impact of your fatherless childhood – or abandonment and rejection by your father- in many ways. You might have dysfunctional relationships, problems with your own children, or lack of professional success.
Is this you?
– You live with a big hole in your heart, an emptiness that can never be filled
– You feel sad when you see loving interactions of fathers with their children
– You are angry at the world “for no good reason”
– You are unsure about what it means to be a man (a woman)
– You feel unsafe, anxious, and always on the edge
– You fear abandonment and rejection in relationships
– You have low self-esteem and often feel worthless
– You believe that there is something wrong with you
– You always look for approval
– You need to be perfect and successful at all cost – or you quit too soon
– You always struggle and try too hard
– As a man you are emotionally dependant on women- and resent them for it
– As a woman you either distrust men deeply or you idealize them
– You feel invisible or not heard
– You have conflicting feelings towards God
If you are a grown-up woman or man and still experience the deep hurt of abandonment or rejection by your absent childhood father, or his untimely death, I can help you feel better about yourself.
As a certified EFTpractitioner I work with painful emotions and memories. This Energy Work method is fast, easy to apply even on the phone, and the effects are often remarkable.
For a free consultation